I wrote those words in my journal back in high school. At that time, I was struggling with writing and deciding what major to choose in college. I knew I loved writing, English was my best subject in school. But I wasn't sure if there was a career in it for me. (That's still to be determined.)
Back then, I think I had an image in my mind of a writer. I imagined all well-known or published authors must write full-time and couldn't fathom that a writer wouldn't be able to support himself on writing alone after having a book published. I imagined a writer might wake up at one's leisure each morning, sit down at the desk and write beautiful prose for a few hours, break for lunch, then effortlessly write some more. Each day would continue in the same manner until a novel was written and completed. At which point the writer would pop it into an envelope, send it to their agent then sit back and wait for inspiration to strike again.
I can look back now at those words in my journal and laugh. I now know that writing isn't easy. In fact, if you're not terrified of it at least part of the time then you're probably not doing it right.
In her book Writing Down the Bones, (more on that later) Natalie Goldberg says, "If every time you sat down, you expected something great, writing would always be a great disappointment. Plus that expectation would also keep you from writing."
Don't let the expectation of greatness stop you from writing. Not everything we write is going to be good enough for publication. All writers struggle. Even nobel prize winning and best selling writers doubt themselves. What separates writers from wanna-be writers, is that writers keep writing. Despite all their self-doubts, despite their busy lives pulling them to do everything but write.
Stephen King said, "Sometimes you have to go on when you don't feel like it, and sometimes you're doing good work when it feels like all you're managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position." So write anyway. Even if you feel like all you're doing is shoveling shit, shovel on.