Saturday, May 5, 2012

Making Time

"If you hear a voice within you say, 'You are not a painter,' then by all means paint...and that voice will be silenced." — Vincent Van Gogh

The same is true of writing, or any art. Being a writer, or a painter, requires constantly overcoming self-doubt.

In recent months, I've been in a creative drought. I haven't been writing. I haven't been journaling. I haven't read any good books. I haven't been blogging. I haven't been seeking inspiration for my writing by reading other writers' blogs or visiting photography websites. I have failed miserably at my goal to write everyday. I let my self-doubt get in the way. "I'm not a good writer." "I don't have time to read." "No one reads my blogs, what's the point?"

And so the daily routine took over. Instead of waking up early to write, I slept in. Rather than editing a short story on my lunch break, I played games on my phone. And where I used to read for a while before bed, I watched TV then went straight to sleep.

I've become disconnected. Disconnected from a part of myself that I can only set aside for so long before it catches up to me. It's a cycle that I've been through dozens of times before and one that I'm certain I'll experience, likely for the rest of my life.

I need a creative outlet. And while an afternoon with a good book might not seem like a priority, it's essential for someone like me. It's like food for my soul. And lately I've been feeding my soul a lot of junk food.

It seems there isn't much room for introspection these days. The world can be a harsh place for an artist, something Van Gogh new all too well. It makes me wonder how Van Gogh would do in today's world of twitter and reality TV.... There are so many distractions and things to be doing and to be done.

I will always be fighting the battle of making time for me, making time for writing.